Driving. Part one.

What happens to normal, sensible, law-abiding people when they get behind the wheel of a car?
They turn into arseholes. Dangerous arseholes.

A car is in front of you? Fuck 'em, get past them, how dare they be in front of you, and as you pass them, stare at them, stare at them long and hard, so long and hard in fact that you forget to look ahead of you, where your eyes are meant to be you cock! Ohhh that was close, you nearly drove into a pregnant mother with a baby in a pram. How does this ruler of the road deal with a near death?
Honks his horn!!
Brilliant, you should win the championship with that move you fucking idiot, how brave, how cool.

What do you do if you're on a one way street, and need to buy some bread, or fancy a cup of coffee and a fag?
Just stop. That's right, just stop. Get out of your car and go off and do whatever the fuck you have to do, as long as you leave your hazard lights on you'll be sweet.
Or if your on a normal street and need to park and there's no spaces? You've guessed haven't you?
Just stop.
Double park, get out of your car and go shopping for half an hour you selfish bastard. Don't think about the poor cunt that is stuck, waiting on you to come back from your little jaunt, behind his wheel, honking his horn, pissing off everybody who lives within hearing-a-honk distance.
And when you do come back after half an hour and see how irate and fucked off the poor prick who has been playing symphonies with his car horn is..........
Well, just shrug. Shrug and maybe give a little inane grin, that will help. In fact that makes everything rosy, that takes away the feeling of pure hate that has been boiling inside for half an hour, it also gives me back the half an hour I've wasted and lost, never to see returned again.
Many things can be done in half an hour, like invading a small country, having an orgasm 30 times, listening to one song from a live Led Zeppelin album, and saying 'thanks very much you bug-eyed bitch' 450 times.
You're an arse, a rat of a person, a self centered stain on society but don't worry, you are not alone.
There are legions of you.
All fighting for the one cause. The main aim.
Yourself.
To be continued.........